4C
by Jhill88
Summary: My take on what's in John's head and how 4C relates to him. Most likely this might be more then an one-shot
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: As always I own nothing but my brain which comes up with these fictional stories. Be warned there's no actual dialogue this time around just John thinking on his trip back to New York from Rome about the four C's that consume him now. Hope you enjoy and any spelling mistakes are my own me and spelling don't really get along well.

Carter. When John first met her she was Carter and remained Carter until one day he realized she was a natural detective who never let a puzzle remain unfinished. On the way back to New York from Rome John realized in the years since he started his "job" her name was something he rarely used. Jocelyn sounded too formal and Joss seemed too intimate for their work relationship and they never spent too much personal time together. Yet it changed the first time he saw her get shot and every day his feelings for her got stronger. He missed her there was no denying that and flying clear across the country didn't make it any better, but he didn't know what to do about it.

Caring. It wasn't hard for John to care about her, she was the first person to look at him like a human... she even offered to help. Joss was the first sign to John that maybe there was light in this dark world and Finch, who he met later that day confirmed that thought. John knew without a doubt he would've meet Finch but would Finch save him from himself without him first meeting this beautiful detective first? Hell would John even be alive today without her? He couldn't help questioning and wondering about the different paths their lives could've taken even if he knew deep down he wouldn't change much of anything. Joss reminded him that caring for others were important and he was cared about in return. He really did miss her. John hoped she would understand why he had to leave.

Conscious. Joss had this was of making John conscious of his actions. She never did like it when he outright killed someone and down right disagreed on the way he found his information from unwilling suspects. John could even admit to himself that Joss even made him conscious of her as a person, a detective, a friend and as a women. John knew since he met her that he had to watch her but never really watched her from his male sense of mind until she dated Cal Beecher then it increased more when she became Officer Carter with more time on her hand then before and the dress and that fake date happened. John was normally not a jealous man, jealously couldn't even begin to describe the way he felt watching her flirt with another man. He was sure that the many ways he imagined killing Ian from the time he kissed Joss to the time they had him safe in the safe house weren't excatly normal for a friend, but he couldn't help it. Watching her then made John only watch her even more getting turned on by her anger, frustated in her distance and a mixture pride and scared at her tenacity. HR never stood a chance against her but damn did John miss her.

Crucial. John knew that Joss doubted her place with the team at times. Joss always saw herself as an asset someone that was kept around for the information she provided while that was somewhat true it wasn't 100% a fact though. Joss was the moral compass of the bunch the one to reminded them there was better ways. However she never shyed away from having John's back infact she looked quite comfortable and sexy whenever she held his sniper rifle she was his type of woman. John understood how she didn't see her importance though he simply never told her not until he had to, not before their relationship bearly existed... not till the fear of death consumed him. Joss was crucial and he couldn't see himself getting as far as he had without her. What would the world be like with Jocelyn Carter? The woman was a force of nature, the Army veteran was a hero, the mom was extraordinary, the detective was fearless, the friend was cruicial. No matter how much time passed, how much she scared him or how mad she got John missed her it felt like months ago things changed when it's only been weeks. John hadn't lied when he told Finch he missed his job he did, he mised New York too but most of all he missed her he missed his Carter.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Notes: As sorta semi-promised here is the second and last of 4C story. Like before I don't own any of the charaters mentioned I sure wished I did and I hope you enjoy it. Any spelling or grammer mistakes are my own I seriously suck at spelling and only sometimes catch any other mistakes lol sorry. This one shot is set several days after 4C.

Calm. "You're awake." John said the first words he spoke to her in over two months. Two long months of drinking, running, drinking some more, questioning and more tears then he ever wants to admit to shedding John simply can't believe she's finally awake. "It's only been a day or two I'm not really sure I thought you would've been here..." Joss answers trying to hide her hurt she seen Fusco and her son since she came out of her coma but, both hadn't seen John or Finch and didn't know where they were. John watched her closely he remembed talking to her doctor the confirmed with both Megan Tillman and Madeleine Enright, both doctors he saved and truly trusted, that Joss's chance of survivial were slim she lost a lot of blood her body in shock shut down and he ran. "I'm sorry, I thought I lost you and I couldn't... it felt like I couldn't breathe." John said his voice lower then usual as he holds her hand in his. The moment their eyes meet John realized it was the first time in 65 days he feels calm.

Cry. "Soo how's life?" Joss asked John trying to end the silence and tension that suddenly filled her hospital room. John chuckled still remaining eye contact and answered honestly "I tried to leave." He didn't mean to just blurt it out like that but something about the way she looked at him he couldn't help it. "You were wait... you were gonna leave your job?" Joss asked surpise showing in her features. John sighed he didn't know how to eplain his running and he wasn;t sure she'd understand her last words verfied that. "Not just my job I... I left everything New York, Finch everything." Joss gripped his hand tighter sadness gracing her features she never thought John would take her loss that greatly. "I wanted to go anywhere, as far away from people. I tried Colorado but Finch and Fusco found me. So I figured a place where there weren't as many cameras." "Why?" Joss whispered not really meaning to ask but wondering the answer anyways. John broke eye contact the emotions of the night finally hit him and tried in vein to hold it together. "Do you really have to ask Joss? After everything we've been through I thought I lost you." John said still avoiding eye contact. "John..." Joss' voice broke him and they gave in to their tears. John wrapped his arms around her thankful to be able to touch her as they both continued to cry.

Conversation. After placing a soft kiss on her forehead and drying her tears John was finally ready to talk to her. "I really did try but the flights kept getting canceled and all the sudden I was heading to Rome and saving some kid while fighting off different people in the middle of my flight." Joss snifled and laughed John always seemed to find himself in interesting situations. "Finch?" She guessed. John and Harold had a strong friendship and she could honestly see the man doing whatever he could to make John reconsider his decision. "No actually he swears it wasn't him, but it doesn't really matter now. Im sorry for letting you down." Joss shook her head she understood why he ran and was happy to know he hadn't put his life in danger trying to get Simmons. "John, listen I understand you needed to get away for awhile it's been a long ass couple of years. I was more worried about you getting caught trying to kill Simmons more then anything." John thought that over he was sure of his feeling for the beautiful woman in front of him, but not so sure of her feelings for him. "I would've Joss, I would put anyone who tries to harm you or Taylor down, but someone else beat me to the punch." Joss nodded her understanding she knew how fiercely protective he was over his friends but she wished he wouldn't go to such extreme measures. "John I admire you for so many reasons but don't let me or my son being in harm change you. I know you John you protect just do that protect." John chuckled at that he knew there was things him and her were never gonna agree on and keeping her and her son safe was obviously one of them. "Whatever you say Joss. I'll protect just like the good book says an eye for an eye"

Carter. There was no telling how long John and Joss talked, laughed and cried but it was the best night they had in awhile. "So where do we go from here?" Joss asked around a yawn trying to convience her eyes to stay open. John caressed her face like he did at the morgue all those months ago and said "well first we go to sleep, then we work on getting you stonger and out of here because as much as I like the whole gown thing I much weather see you wearing a dress." Joss looked at him with wide eyes did he just ask her out on a date, like a forreal date and not a stakeout or recon on a possible, but harmless, stalker. "A dress for what John?" She just had to know before she got her hopes all high for nothing. "A date." John answered simply a smirk on his face enjoying her reactions to him. Joss laughed with relief and laughed even harder at John's confused face. "Oh thank goodness I thought I was gonna have to shot you to finally get my date." John chuckled again and because he couldn't help himself lowered his head and claimed her lips with his. That one kiss much more passionate then the first they shared had both their hearts racing and all too soon Joss pulled away trying to catch her breathe and slightly embarassed by the pulse mointer speeding up. John laughed at gave her a chaste kiss before settling down in the chair next to her bed. "Sleep Joss." He ordered eyes closing while again entwining their fingers. "Does this mean you're gonna stop calling me Carter?" John shook he said and said "Not on you life. Goodnight Carter."


End file.
